“How you look at it is pretty much how you’ll see it”
Gona can you make a post about different culture marriage. It would be interesting to know what you and your readers think about that. I one on hand dont think it is good to mix up cultures, on the other hand i think love is love and screw those thoughts. Then again I ask myself what would people family my parents say? And then again I ask myself if I where like 26,27,30 or something and not married yet if I would take a guy who is not my type or who is not completely ok just because ‘mos mbes pa martu’ or if I would start searching my husband in other cultures too. I am not in the situation yet, but i have always thought about this thing. Glad to hear more opinions on that xoxo
I just need to start this post by telling something that an old man told me about cultures a few years ago. He said this: Imagine that every country and culture makes the citizens wear a pair of colored glasses and these people only see the world in that particular color. So, for example: In Sweden they all wear white-colored glasses and therefor see everything in white, in Germany they see purple, in Albania blue, and in Switzerland yellow. So when you go to these countries, you get these colored glasses handed to you – these represent the culture, yeah? Now, when an Albanian who’s born and raised in Albania – wearing blue-colored glasses – moves to Switzerland and is handed a pair of yellow glasses, his new color will be green, which means that he now doesn’t only see in blue anymore, but also yellow. The more colors, the more knowledge and experience of different cultures, yeah? As a result of this you also start seeing things in other ways than only in the way you used to know before.
Just like all other Albanians who live abroad, Ymyr was raised with two cultures – the Swiss one and the Albanian one. I was raised with two cultures – the Swedish one and the Albanian one, so I can’t just see white nor can I just see blue, but I’ll see in light blue.
Another thing I believe, and that every parent with roots elsewhere should keep in mind is that, you can’t blame your child for taking on another culture and lifestyle when you live in another country. You can’t be angry of how a plant with a seed from one country, reacts when it grows in another country’s soil.. You know what I mean?
There are so many different types of cultures, and all cultures value so different things and the people live so differently in it. Three things that I highly value from the Albanian culture is, how family orientated it is, the loyalty, and generosity. Have you ever met an Albanian who doesn’t want to give or help out? I have rarely seen that, if ever really. I can still remember how my father and his friends – most of our fathers, really – would go from door to door, or organize something in our schools, for people to leave clothes and toys that they no longer used so we could ship them to people in need when the wars in Kosovo took place. People offered their homes to refugees and “strangers”, and I just love the beauty of how united our folks really are, and how much we value or families.
The reason I highlight what I value from our culture is because I hope that our daughter and future children will be taking these values with them no matter how much times will have changed in 20 years. We are nowhere near the lifestyle our parents had 30 years ago, and neither will our children be to ours. I would be very happy if AD and our future children would find someone Albanian as it would make things easier as the values – and maybe also traditions – they value the same things, but on the other hand I have to be very realistic and know that time changes and so does the way people live, and that one lifestyle wouldn’t be more wrong or right than the other. I have to understand that the way our children will view our culture will have changed tremendously in two decades and that the color I see things in won’t be the only one for them. I hope our daughter will settle with someone who values what she values in life, the same way – and that they learn from each other, find understanding, and want to live happily ever after no matter what they face. I want our daughter and her future partner to value their relationship and their family the way I have learnt to value them from my culture. I want her to be family orientated, know of loyalty, and to be humble and generous, but most of all I want her to know her self-worth, too; to not stick with a moron who thinks that he’d have more rights than her, or who thinks that “this is how things should be done because this is how we do it”, or who simply does not know how to treat another human being with love. There is no guarantee – and this is a fact – that an Albanian guy would treat my daughter any better than a non-Albanian guy, or that an Albanian girl would treat my future son (if I’ll have one) any better than a non-Albanian girl. Or is there?
I love our Albanian culture and I am very proud of being Albanian. I love bumping in to people who share the same kind of culture like me, and I want our culture to live on, yet you have to be realistic and accept that things change and there’s nothing you can do about it but to pass over your knowledge, wisdom, and values to the younger ones and then trust that they’ll use that to be happy.
I just hope our children find a partner that they share lots and lots in common with like Ymyr and I did, and where they have differences, I hope they learn and cherish that. I also hope that my children never hold back from who they are, or what they want because of “what others would say”. That short sentence is not in our vocabulary and there should be nothing or no one that can hold us back from our happiness.
So, I guess that’s the first things I could say regarding this topic. Do you guys have any opinions or want to share something? Do you agree or disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts on it (would also allow for me to kill time in this hospital room, hehe). So shoot :-)).